Now what? why should i not end it all?

Ok,listen I told you to stay away from everybody for awhile until you saw things a little differently,and I understand why you wanted to try to do the right thing and get along with your parents,but it back fired and now you feel worse. It's time now to get angry! You'll be amazed at how much better it will make you feel and it may actually gain you some respect! I'm sorry that your parents are professional idiots,but now it's time to stand on your own 2 feet,with that German Shepard by your side and tell her to get off her pity train,sit down and shut up,it's your turn! In the first place,when you have kids,life is all about doing for them and if she'd done her job right,you wouldn't feel like you do! If she considers what she does for her family a sacrifice,she doesn't deserve a family! How much did she sacrifice really,if she's a doctor? If she was a waitress,maybe,but not being a doctor! Her family sacrificed,especially you! Tell her you wouldn't waste your time killing yourself to get back at them as they don't seem to care! GET THAT DOG ASAP! Show her that unlike her,you can take care of another living thing and love it and it loves you back! She doesn't respect you nor believe you,but don't kill yourself to show her you can,don't kill yourself just to show her that her not caring is no big deal!! They may be sad after you were gone,but guilty is more like it! Don't give them the satisfaction! Tell her all her sacrifices and all she's done for you must have been all wrong,because she did a miserable job of raising you,and how shameful for a doctor to be such a failure herself! I wouldn't let that woman take my pulse much less treat me! It's time for you to turn that guilt truck around and run her over with it! I'd tell her all your problems are her fault,your not being able to take care of yourself shows her shortcomings as a mother and her total lack of parenting skills! You need to know that you're worth staying around,as I can tell you just want to help others,have a friend and have a life! Let your anger totally take over your depression and run with it! I don't see you getting physical with her,so just begin and don't stop til she's backed into a corner! How dare she cut you down as it's her ability as a parent that she's really shredding into pieces! After you tell her off properly,tell her you don't care to see her again until she realizes that your problems are her fault,that you Can overcome her shortcomings as a parent and you will be a better person than she ever will be in the end! If she was really a good Dr. and knows so much,she wouldn't be so unconcerned about your telling her you wanted to die! When my son called me and said he was going to kill himself I screamed at him to not do it,then I begged him to please hold on until I could get to him,4 states away,but he didn't wait! Tell her she sacrificed nothing but your mental stability and the ability to be happy and you're done with her and her inability to love her own offspring,turn around and leave! Show her you CAN take care of a dog,better than she ever took care of you,that you WILL be a better person in spite of her parenting inabilities and that life is worth living just to show her what a failure SHE is! I'm so sorry you grew up in a home like that,but it's a bigger and better person who can overcome being raised by idiots and still be somebody! I have faith in you and I know you can do it! Keep your head up,have a little faith in yourself,and find yourself a great dog,then go enjoy her!